Around this time last year, I found myself wondering where I belonged in videogames. Burnt out, struggling to work on anything for a sustained amount of time and very, very tired of watching the scale of abuse in games escalate.
This time, I have a much better idea but still, not quite.
I’ve been working on a game on and off for a while now. Whilst I was enjoying myself alright enough, I haven’t really felt that into it. Often, it felt like going through the motions instead and as a result, that spark needed to kick it up a gear never really materialised. That is until Cecconoid lit a fire under my backside.
Cecconoid is really good. I mean, I play lots of really good games but Cecconoid is the sort of really good that feels like it’s sent from the stars to inspire me. Obviously, it’s not the stars, it’s Gareth (responsible for the also excellent Lumo amongst other things) but you’ll forgive me a wee bit of floweryness.
And so what started out as “I wonder how hard it is to nail that sort of 1 bit style Cecconoid and some Devolver published games have” playing around solely to fill some time became okay, but what if I splashed a bit of colour (because it’s me and well, you know) accidentally saw parts of the game fall into shape from there. Like, woah, this is not only nice looking but manageable and that manageable thing is what I’ve been struggling to find. And also, it’s very colourful. That’s important to me.
Which was nice.
Will it get far enough? I hope so! I’ve still got a lot of serious home stuff to contend with as well as my own ever present chafing but let’s see.
It’s now been four(!) years since I last released a videogame. The sort of time people make whole upper mid tier games in except I most decidedly haven’t done that. And so much has changed!
There’s the whole Epic trying to buy a duopoly thing I’ve covered a few times but not quite in the sort of depth I’d like to because the resurgence of abuse that’s come as part of it is exhausting. There’s the end of a console cycle and studios selling up, studios shutting down and all that comes with the end of a cycle. Steam is in an entirely different shape than it was in 2015 too and with so much indie now being routed through publishers (something I personally have little interest in doing but each to what they need), it does feel a bit overwhelming.
Not the bad kind of overwhelming just the bloody hell, where do I start when I want to sell this thing kind of overwhelming. It’s a lot. I’m brushing up as best I can in-between twiddling about writing a game but as ever, whatever route I take has to be the best route for my own comfort. So that’s sort of what I’m looking at – finding a comfortable route through all this guff.
I’ll be honest, 2019 being exceedingly 2019 makes this way more difficult than I’d want. I’ll get there though, I always do.
I’ve a few other things I want to talk about but I’m already into a hefty word count so I’ll take a pause here and talk about the rest in another post.
Take this as notice that I’m back though. I can only apologise in advance for everything.